Dear June,
You once told me we wouldn't get a shot until our fifties and that you didn't think I'd be interested. If you haven't figured out that was ridiculous I am here to say so.
Most people never know how much time they have walking the earth. Unless something has changed that you haven't informed me of that is where we stand, with an indefinite amount of time.
I am aggravated with your refusal to have given us a chance to explore what could be. People don't have a connection like ours and see it completely fizzle, not really.
There are things that can impact it and there is no doubt it can evolve, but I don't believe it just dies.
I don't know where it stands but I have strong ideas. I still believe you have avoided being in my arms and tried to keep an emotional distance because you are scared.
I understand and appreciate it. It is scary, but mostly in a good way.
It is disappointing not to get a chance to have real conversations with a woman who said I was her best friend and the love of her life. It would be a shame if we didn't take the chance to explore this.
And yes, I know I have said for years that I think you'll sleep with me again. In my heart I still believe that even though it sounds ridiculous.
I could tell you I think you need to be fucked. I could tell you I think you need someone to make love to you. I could tell you I can do both like no other man. Not because I am bragging but because I know you have ultimate trust in me.
When you are upset you always think of me and consider leaning against me. Many times you do, but lately you have forced yourself not to. You have built distance.
If someone asked me why I would say "who knows." I figure in your time you'll tell me, that is most likely but it is still possible I'll never find out. Still possible posts like this will remain as me allowing myself to be vulnerable while you share nothing.
It is not fair but life isn't fair and I have known that since I was a little boy. But maybe that will change and I'll discover that when I am thinking of you, you are thinking of me too.
