Time Together

 Dear Juneleh,

I noticed you came by tonight so I'll probably post something to see if I can 'encourage' you to return to see this update.

Could text or messenger you but am waiting to see if you come to me. Waiting to see if you take a few steps or if you are going to wait for me to come for you. Cuz you know eventually I will.

You might wonder if it defeats the purpose by saying this here and maybe it does, but then again maybe it doesn't.

I am capable of saying anything, at any time, anywhere. Doesn't mean I will or that I won't.

Hell, I am quieter now than I have ever been. Spend so much time in my own head that I forget about talking.

But I'll talk with you. 

Told you I want time together. I want to know if what I sense is real.

Part of it without question is of this I am certain, but I want to know more. 

I remember taking your hand in the restaurant and feeling a little electric shock and smiling to myself because our bodies remembered each other just as our hearts have never forgotten.

What can I tell you woman, I ache and I sense and I wonder.

But mostly I know stuff and that is not something I'll share here, has to be in person. 

Not everything can be put on paper, some things have to be done live so that we feel alive. Don't know if that makes sense, but if I kissed you now I think it might.

I remember you lips. Do you remember mine.

Your Lips

 Been thinking about your lips pressed up against mine and wondering if memory is accurate. I intend to find out.

You need to be kissed Lady June...by me.

Will I Be Right?

 Dear Sweet June,

Will I be right about you coming back tonight to see what I have left for you or will you fool me?

Not sure, I know you are thinking about what I have written and that you are considering what to do. I am certain of it.

Certain that in some ways it would be easier for you to sleep with me if there was nothing else tied up in it but that is not something either of us believe. We have lived too much and loved too hard for it to be just sex.

Still, I am not lying when I say I don't go into this with expectations of marriage or living together. Won't say any of those are impossible because we have proven to me that it is impossible to make a 100 percent prediction of what will or won't happen.

I am not exaggerating when I say I have been to hell because I have taken some beatings that made me wonder why I have to be so goddamned tough and durable. Made me wonder why I didn't just break because that might be easier.

But I am who I am and you have seen as much as anyone and you haven't seen it all. Why wouldn't I want to make love to you again. Why wouldn't I want to take you and have my way.

There is a depth of trust that comes with us in spite of everything.

Sometimes I have a hard time accepting I don't look like I once did and can't physically do all I could but at the same time most of that is bullshit.

Looks aren't everything and I don't think I look horrible. And hell, I can still do quite a bit and with a little effort can do even more. It is just harder to maintain than it once was but so what.

So I have come clean, told you I want you in my arms. Want to have my way with you and I know that will happen.

I am exceptionally curious about it all. That connection is powerful.

Maybe I have written too much, given you too much stimulation, too much intensity but I don't think so. You aren't scared of me, nor should you be.

Mostly I am wondering if you are going to come to me or make me come get you...figuratively of course.

You could tell me to go away but I don't believe you want to. I am certain you want to know more just as I do.

I can do things one step at a time. I am good at that.

Take my hand woman, step into my arms and get lost for a bit. I can carry you if you let me. :)

I Feel It Coming

 Dear Sweet Juneleh,

I feel it coming. I sense something growing and building and it is not me exploding in your mouth. 

Could I have avoided that? Yeah, but I think you know by now how I think of you and it is not solely physical.

It is everything else that comes with it that gets me. There are so many things I want to share with you and talk about. You have occupied a place no one else has and that is meaningful to me.

We're both vaccinated now and it is just a matter of time before we get our moment. Just a matter of time before we see if you can withstand the intensity of my gaze. ;)

Just a matter of time before I pull you in close and whisper things in your ear. I know how to reach your heart and soul.

I know how to make you feel like a woman and remind you what electricity feels like and how to take you away from the 10,093,938 thoughts that are constantly moving through your mind.

It is going to happen Sweet June, you will find yourself looking up at me again. I will have you. I will take you and we will have our moment in our castle again.

The drawbridge will open for us any time we choose to approach it.

This I know and so many other things. :)