Hi baby,
I should be asleep because I am exhausted but I can't quite get there, sleep that is. So I am here about the computer for a few minutes to see if I can unwind just a little bit more so that I can get more than a couple of hours.
I want to thank you for your support about my writing. You really are my biggest fan and it means more to me than you know.
Sometimes I think you overstate my abilities there. I have some talent but I don't know that I am really that good. But as you know I am good about practicing so that I can improve. I think with some work I can really turn my words into something
Sitting here by myself it is hard not to wonder if it is foreshadowing my future. Will I be living alone again?
I have mixed emotions about it. If it is what needs to be done to advance my career and put myself in the position I want to be in to take care of the kids than I will do it without question. It is hard being separated but if I can see a big upside to it then I am willing.
There is far more that could be said but I am not going to over think it. I do what I have to do because I believe that sometimes short term discomfort leads to long term benefits. There is no doubt in my mind that the current position has always been part of a transitional phase.
I had hoped it would be connected by being part of the same company but if it is not so be it. Besides this might lead to a very good raise and that never hurts.
Try not to miss me too much. You are my favorite Pita. ;)
Visibility
Curiosity
Hi Babeleh,
Are you as curious as I am about where I will end up? I really don't know because it could be almost anywhere.
Sent out a bunch by me and a bunch by you. I am excited and frustrated by it. So many thoughts flowing through my mind.
I know what I want and what I need. I'm confident eventually I'll get to the place where they merge.
Have I told you I think you're beautiful because I do. Got some ideas about stories to write and some sexy lady stars in them.
Come give me a hug woman and let me lean on you for a moment. I'm tired.
Surprise
Was thinking about all that happened today and realized I am back in a position where I don't know where I'll be living. Could be anywhere.
Hell I could be in town in November which would potentially mean I could see the star do her thing. Then again I could be in North Dakota, Iowa, Florida or Oregon.
What a crazy, freaking world we live in.
Hell I could be in town in November which would potentially mean I could see the star do her thing. Then again I could be in North Dakota, Iowa, Florida or Oregon.
What a crazy, freaking world we live in.
Traveling
Dear Juneleh,
I am excited for you. I hope that trip comes through and I hope I get to join you there. I haven't a clue how that would happen and based upon what you told me it would take a lot to make time to get together but that is ok with me.
I am not really focused on trying to join you then. I just like the thought because it is on my list of places to visit with you. And yeah I know there is no saying if any of that will ever happen but I am not going to lie and say I don't want it to.
You wouldn't believe that any more than I would believe you didn't want to travel together either. Would love to take you away for your birthday. I have a long list of things to do and places to see with you. Not that there was any question but it is not because I love you.
It is because I like you too and because we just never get tired of spending time with each other. It always goes so fast. Communication, trust and compatibility go a long way.
I still want to see how many times we can do it in a day. Would be fun to be like a kid with you. Always fun to make love to you and to see that look in your eyes.
Got to stop talking about that because you are so fucking hot it makes it hard to focus. I could talk about it for hours.
Anyway, the whole work thing pisses me off more than I can tell you. It is stupid and I am tired of busting my ass to be treated like this. But on the other hand it is far superior to my prior position which made me feel like a bum and a failure. That was very hard.
But that was then and now I am in a far superior position and this one should lend itself to helping me further my career. My gut has always said I would find my way to where I need and want to be and I am not going to stop trusting it.
So my dear one give me a kiss and I'll see you around sometime.
I am excited for you. I hope that trip comes through and I hope I get to join you there. I haven't a clue how that would happen and based upon what you told me it would take a lot to make time to get together but that is ok with me.
I am not really focused on trying to join you then. I just like the thought because it is on my list of places to visit with you. And yeah I know there is no saying if any of that will ever happen but I am not going to lie and say I don't want it to.
You wouldn't believe that any more than I would believe you didn't want to travel together either. Would love to take you away for your birthday. I have a long list of things to do and places to see with you. Not that there was any question but it is not because I love you.
It is because I like you too and because we just never get tired of spending time with each other. It always goes so fast. Communication, trust and compatibility go a long way.
I still want to see how many times we can do it in a day. Would be fun to be like a kid with you. Always fun to make love to you and to see that look in your eyes.
Got to stop talking about that because you are so fucking hot it makes it hard to focus. I could talk about it for hours.
Anyway, the whole work thing pisses me off more than I can tell you. It is stupid and I am tired of busting my ass to be treated like this. But on the other hand it is far superior to my prior position which made me feel like a bum and a failure. That was very hard.
But that was then and now I am in a far superior position and this one should lend itself to helping me further my career. My gut has always said I would find my way to where I need and want to be and I am not going to stop trusting it.
So my dear one give me a kiss and I'll see you around sometime.
Checking In
Hi Baby,
I saw this article floating around Facebook and at first I figured it was probably nonsense but I checked it out anyway.
It is called Semen is 'good for women's health and helps fight depression' and based upon some empirical evidence from time with you I think there is truth in it. However we should probably make a point to investigate it some more.
In the name of science I'll be happy to provide you with more than you can handle and you can try to prove that I can't wear you out. ;) That is still one of my favorite arguments.
Life here is a mix of the usual nonsense. Some days are better than others which isn't any different than what most people experience in their own lives but I am not most people so I keep pushing to have great days more often than not.
The office has been much more challenging lately primarily because I haven't been given much guidance for the work I have been doing and I have been told that my submissions have been sub par. That irks me more than I can tell you. If you don't do a good job of describing what you want and need it makes it very challenging to meet those goals. And since it is one of my strengths that is being criticized I pay more attention because most of the time even when I feel like my submissions don't flow the way I want them to I know they are solid.
I suppose part of my frustration lies in feeling like some of this is subjective and somewhat focused on gender issues. I don't try to write like a man or a woman. I just do my best to produce something that both sides will understand and appreciate but some of the editing reads to me like I am being asked to produce estrogen based content.
Does that make sense?
It concerns me a bit because we are getting close to a time where decisions about the future will be made and I don't want this to impact things at all. But I can also tell you I am busting my ass to make sure that I am doing all that I can.
I go to sleep knowing that however it turns out I have done the best I can to make them happy. It is possible that my past experience is making me more sensitive and that there is nothing for me to be concerned about but it is hard to just relax.
Still when you do all you can you know that however things turn out you did what you could to make sure that your best effort is reflected.
Well my girl, if I could I would grab you and kiss you now. It seems like a shame that your lips aren't receiving my deepest appreciation right now. Could tell you much more than that but we'll save some of that for a different day.
But that doesn't meant that I won't tell you I wish your legs were wrapped around me now. One day...
Love you baby.
I saw this article floating around Facebook and at first I figured it was probably nonsense but I checked it out anyway.
It is called Semen is 'good for women's health and helps fight depression' and based upon some empirical evidence from time with you I think there is truth in it. However we should probably make a point to investigate it some more.
In the name of science I'll be happy to provide you with more than you can handle and you can try to prove that I can't wear you out. ;) That is still one of my favorite arguments.
Life here is a mix of the usual nonsense. Some days are better than others which isn't any different than what most people experience in their own lives but I am not most people so I keep pushing to have great days more often than not.
The office has been much more challenging lately primarily because I haven't been given much guidance for the work I have been doing and I have been told that my submissions have been sub par. That irks me more than I can tell you. If you don't do a good job of describing what you want and need it makes it very challenging to meet those goals. And since it is one of my strengths that is being criticized I pay more attention because most of the time even when I feel like my submissions don't flow the way I want them to I know they are solid.
I suppose part of my frustration lies in feeling like some of this is subjective and somewhat focused on gender issues. I don't try to write like a man or a woman. I just do my best to produce something that both sides will understand and appreciate but some of the editing reads to me like I am being asked to produce estrogen based content.
Does that make sense?
It concerns me a bit because we are getting close to a time where decisions about the future will be made and I don't want this to impact things at all. But I can also tell you I am busting my ass to make sure that I am doing all that I can.
I go to sleep knowing that however it turns out I have done the best I can to make them happy. It is possible that my past experience is making me more sensitive and that there is nothing for me to be concerned about but it is hard to just relax.
Still when you do all you can you know that however things turn out you did what you could to make sure that your best effort is reflected.
Well my girl, if I could I would grab you and kiss you now. It seems like a shame that your lips aren't receiving my deepest appreciation right now. Could tell you much more than that but we'll save some of that for a different day.
But that doesn't meant that I won't tell you I wish your legs were wrapped around me now. One day...
Love you baby.
A Few Things
My writing was criticized this week week. There is plenty of room for doing so but what I heard was not something I agree with.
It sucks to be berated when you haven't been given direction. And then to learn what I did, so very frustrating.
Putting in major effort and pushing so hard. Baby, I hate feeling like I am going nowhere with it.
But maybe I am, maybe I am getting ahead and doing more than I realize.
Much success has come to me because I work for it, just impatient to get more. So I'm doing my best to make it happen.
Gah, it is so hard sometimes because past experience makes me nervous but then again I think I'm set up for many good things.
BTW, I still hear you thinking. That's a good thing.
Mlbf
Clearing My Head
Hi baby,
Just clearing my head. Made a big mistake at work, felt like such a dope because it was so very dumb. Stressed about it because I need this to work. Thus far it has and it will most likely continue but sometimes it is hard not to worry.
Wish you were close to give me a hug, I could use one. Might even be nice to nuzzle your neck a bit and smell you.
And I'd kiss you because your lips are made for being kissed and that is just part of what is meant to be. Oh, so many other things to say and share. Can't wait for the day.
Just clearing my head. Made a big mistake at work, felt like such a dope because it was so very dumb. Stressed about it because I need this to work. Thus far it has and it will most likely continue but sometimes it is hard not to worry.
Wish you were close to give me a hug, I could use one. Might even be nice to nuzzle your neck a bit and smell you.
And I'd kiss you because your lips are made for being kissed and that is just part of what is meant to be. Oh, so many other things to say and share. Can't wait for the day.
Traveling
Thinking very seriously about when I am going to come back out. Haven't decided yet if I am going to wait until I get confirmation about work or what. That does influence things.
So very surreal to be in this position. So strange to feel so connected to a place I never imagined I'd be connected to. But I have seen and experienced things that make it clear to me that there is something there worth following up on.
So very surreal to be in this position. So strange to feel so connected to a place I never imagined I'd be connected to. But I have seen and experienced things that make it clear to me that there is something there worth following up on.
What You Need
Oh look sweet Juneleh the post below is all about love but this one is about my hands in your hair and my taking your body and your mind to those places only we can reach.
You need to submit, let go and give yourself the moment because I am going to make you shudder. And I am going to do it because I am your best friend and you trust me to do it. Because you know I don't have to work because we work.
And because I am going to feed you and take you again and again and again.
You need to submit, let go and give yourself the moment because I am going to make you shudder. And I am going to do it because I am your best friend and you trust me to do it. Because you know I don't have to work because we work.
And because I am going to feed you and take you again and again and again.
Dancing
Come give me a hug baby. I love you.
Ticklish Girl
Hello ticklish girl,
Thought I'd share these quotes with you:
“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”
“In times of grief and sorrow I will hold you and rock you and take your grief and make it my own. When you cry I cry and when you hurt I hurt. And together we will try to hold back the floods to tears and despair and make it through the potholed street of life”
“The scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you.”
“No, it's not that. It's not what you're thinking. I was serious when I said 'all of it'. I can remember every moment we were together, and in eachof them there was something wonderful. I can't really pick any one time that meant more than any other. The entire summer was perfect, the kind of summer everyone should have. How could I pick one moment over another? Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That's what it was like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.”
Baby, we have one of the most complex, simple and romantic stories out there. I know that sounds like a contradiction and it is but we are a contradiction and yet we are not.
We are the answer to equations, hypotheses and formulas that people puzzle over for years. We are two elements that have very specific properties as individuals but when combined create something rare and magical.
Sometimes I like to think about what it would be like to have all of you and to live life immersed in each other. I probably don't think about it as often as you might think but that is because I put most of my focus on the present.
Doesn't mean I don't like to day dream and fantasize about you because I do but I can't let what can't be today keep me from doing the things that will help me reach tomorrow.
That doesn't mean I can't or shouldn't tell you that I believe we deserve more than we have now and that no one will make you happier than me. That is not arrogant or bragging, it is just the truth and the reason is because of that chemical combination.
There is something about it that makes it easy for me to make you feel loved, cherished and secure. Something magical because it just works. It is tied into the way we never get tired of being together. That is special, knowing you can spend countless hours together and not want to kill the other person.
Doesn't happen every day.
Anyway, I have to get back to work but before I go you need to hear me say I love you. I would give a lot to wrap my arms around you and bury my nose in your neck.
Some of my favorite moments with you have been like that, quiet moments where I got to hold you and whisper in your ear.
Still My Girl
Dear June,
Hey baby I still call you my girl but I am not really going to write about that now because I want to share something else with you.
I am beginning to wonder if I am overextended because it is getting harder to keep up in the all places I am at. Or maybe I am just stuck in a different sort of rut because I am more self conscious about writing with reckless abandon everywhere.
It feels strange to say that. I feel a bit like a teen because why should I care but sometimes I do. So much going on now and so hard to try to figure it all out. But if I know anything it is that we can't plan and map life out with the sort of precision and accuracy we want or maybe the detail I want.
Some things can't be figured out in advance, they can only be seen through experience. If you don't walk through the door you can't ever figure out if what you see is good, bad, awful or a mix of it all.
In other news I spent some time thinking about making love to you. I thought about what it is like to hold you in my arms, to kiss you, to smell you, to be inside you. I thought about how every time I slide into you there is this glow in your eyes and such a big smile on your face.
And I thought about how it never gets old being with you.
I thought about taking you from behind and of you being on top.
I thought about kissing you.
And I thought about how we are stuck with each other because this won't ever go away. We will always love each other.
That is not a bad thing.
Who knows what the future brings. I will be with you again. It is like you said last summer, we are family.
Sometimes you make me crazy, but you are my best friend and I love you.
Hell if I know how this letter went to this place, but I feel you and I hope you feel my arms around you. You are still my girl, even if you sometimes act ridiculous. :)
Hey baby I still call you my girl but I am not really going to write about that now because I want to share something else with you.
I am beginning to wonder if I am overextended because it is getting harder to keep up in the all places I am at. Or maybe I am just stuck in a different sort of rut because I am more self conscious about writing with reckless abandon everywhere.
It feels strange to say that. I feel a bit like a teen because why should I care but sometimes I do. So much going on now and so hard to try to figure it all out. But if I know anything it is that we can't plan and map life out with the sort of precision and accuracy we want or maybe the detail I want.
Some things can't be figured out in advance, they can only be seen through experience. If you don't walk through the door you can't ever figure out if what you see is good, bad, awful or a mix of it all.
In other news I spent some time thinking about making love to you. I thought about what it is like to hold you in my arms, to kiss you, to smell you, to be inside you. I thought about how every time I slide into you there is this glow in your eyes and such a big smile on your face.
And I thought about how it never gets old being with you.
I thought about taking you from behind and of you being on top.
I thought about kissing you.
And I thought about how we are stuck with each other because this won't ever go away. We will always love each other.
That is not a bad thing.
Who knows what the future brings. I will be with you again. It is like you said last summer, we are family.
Sometimes you make me crazy, but you are my best friend and I love you.
Hell if I know how this letter went to this place, but I feel you and I hope you feel my arms around you. You are still my girl, even if you sometimes act ridiculous. :)
