Love Is a Burning Thing

Dearest June,

Well woman as usual I seem to have trouble staying irritated with you. It is unusual for me because most of the time it is easy for me to stay pissed off, don't even have to think about it.

Like nudniks who think inserting their pearls of wisdom here, well they get my attention in ways that don't serve anyone. I make a note of such things and add a little post it note for later. Apparently I have mellowed a bit because the guy you first met would have gone after the slug who thought they were invited to visit.

Anyhoo, I don't give free rent in my head to them so that is all I'll say. Instead I'll share a quote I came across:

“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”
― Paulo Coelho

I love that. It is one of the most sensible things I have read about something that makes so little sense because love is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever encountered.

Maybe it is because I really do feel like I have two sides to me. There is the science and logic guy and there is the other man who looks at science guy and laughs.

Not because he doesn't believe in it but because he believes there are things that fall outside of logic and reason and that we can't apply science to those things in the standard ways we want to.

Maybe there is a tool or method that we can use to make sense. Maybe such a thing exists but we haven't discovered it yet.

In the interim using the standard methods just adds to the craziness.

So I find that I am happiest when straddle the two sides and try to be some sort or meld or alloy between them.

I remember a conversation we had about writing and math that ties into this a bit. We talked about natural ability and touched upon whether practice allows us to improve our skills. If I remember it accurately we said that some things were beyond us, didn't matter how much practice we had at painting we weren't going to be a master.

We also talked about how we see things in our heads and how that is tied into this. We see how the words or numbers fit into the giant puzzle. Well, when it comes to stories and people I see how things fit and I don't limit myself to only seeing what is presented.

Sometimes that is because people say one thing and do another. Sometimes it happens even when their actions reflect their words because I sense something else behind it. All I know is that I pay attention to tactile but feel the influence of the unseen and unspoken.

I stopped trying to control a lot of things and now I just take it as it comes.