Another Post

Hi June,

Been to hell and back and then back to hell. Can't figure out which way is up and which way is down.

I am surprised to see myself standing, let alone walking. Not exaggerating, situation is uncomfortable and I am at a loss to see how to get out of it.

Yet there are these moments where I am convinced I will and that everything will eventually work out. I think that is as likely as asking you to give me head. It is not unprecedented or impossible but given everything it is unlikely.

Hell, I am not even sure I could get it up if I wanted to, but that is something I distract myself with. Maybe you are right, maybe I am sick. But then again, maybe I am not. I'd almost like to believe it because it would make things easier.

Because I could look at things and say that I am confused because my head is broken, but I don't really think that is the case. I think it is just a convoluted and confusing moment. When I stop trying to punch my way out of a paper bag it might get easier.

The funny thing about this is I can see it getting worse and I can see it getting better. Hell I can see all sorts of thing and believe there is a damn good chance they'd happen but who knows.

P.S. You look really fucking good. Better thank someone for good genes cuz you got them.