One more Update

Dear June,

I could write a long post about how I still remember kissing you, holding you and what it felt like to be joined together in every way possible.

I could write about how I think about watching your eyes as I enter you or as you take me in and how that just makes my heart go.

Or I could tell you again that I just want to spend time with you because I think we have unfinished business and need to find out what it is all about.

Wrote all these things before and many of them relatively recently. Kind of scary putting them on paper because it is hard to be that vulnerable.

If I go based upon your actions I can convince myself that you have no interest as easily as I can go the other direction. Obviously my gut says you want to explore that too and that is where I ultimately fall.

And I recognize that you have been going through a crazy period of time and this is not your priority. I understand it, been through my own deal. It is hard to focus on anything other than just breathing than when you are in the storm.

But for a moment there I felt you start to lean on me and to let me help carry you and I was glad to do so. It feels right and it feels easy, even if you are a pain in the ass about multiple things.

But I know I am too about some stuff and I think we can probably manage it all.

Bottom line is I would like to find out. The idea that some other guy could get a shot and I don't, well that is hard for me and that pushes me to not just idly by.

Sometimes you have to take a risk to find out what is on the other side of the rainbow.

Have no idea when you will read this as you seem to have left it lie fallow. I am not surprised, you have had your hands full.

Can't say I don't miss having you play a bigger role in my life. Can't say I can't imagine life without you but I can say I can't imagine not trying.

So here I am trying.

For the moment trying to be patient and see when you are ready for a discussion. Don't know if that is how it will play out or if things will just happen on the fly.

What I do think is we're meant to have something together and that we're connected for a reason. I really do.