I Haven't Forgotten

Dear Sweet June,

You know I know that you have been reading these and that I take your silence as consent and agreement.

You know that you make me crazy. You know that sometimes I swear I can smell you or feel your touch. You know that I am mostly convinced that it would take all of a minute to get lost in each other.

And you know that I expect we'll be naked and intimate again in the near future.

I see you.

I remember what it was like to be inside of you and to feel your legs wrapped around my body. I remember what it was like to have your lips wrapped around me and to feel them pressed against mine.

It was electric.

Can you blame me for wanting more.

I have never discounted the possibility that people and things change. Never ignored that because I have lived it. I haven't lied or exaggerated when I said I have been through hell. I see the scars on my face and body.

But I came out the other side, a different man in many ways, but more myself than ever.

I miss being close with you. I don't like saying it because I don't like making myself more vulnerable than necessary. But life is short and I'd rather say it than not.

I know I could be wrong about all of this. I know I could be in my own world. I also know I could be right and that you won't open the door anyway.

But you might. You might be doing your "I wait for the man thing" or some variation.

I wasn't lying when I told you at the restaurant that I think it would be tragic if we didn't get a chance to make love to each other again or that I would survive if we didn't.

Of course I would. I am still a hard ass and still capable of doing whatever I need to do but that doesn't mean I won't take a chance,

What kind of man would I be if I did that. And yeah, I know some people might question my choices but I am ok with that.

I have to live my life and I have been living it alone and apart for a long time. I can do anything I need to do, I am built for the storm. 

But again, that doesn't mean I have to subjugate everything and not take a chance.

We're smart people and we can figure all sorts of things out. I am still and forever convinced that we are capable of amazing things should we choose to walk specific paths.

Maybe we'll never know. Maybe we will.

There is a lot we don't know about each other and much we do. I am still convinced I have seen parts of my girl that no one else has and I hope to see them again.

BTW, I thought you looked hot in the pictures you posted, but I tend to be circumspect about what I say there.

Probably not appropriate to say I recognize certain expressions and why. ;)

I'll finish with another request to kiss you, another request for head and another request to put you on your back and have my way.

But mostly I want to hold you in my arms and live in our world for a bit. I like feeling you melt into me.