You Make Me A Little Crazy

Sweet June,

You make me crazy, you really do. There are days where I can't decide if I want to make love to you or fuck you like a rag doll.

Two hands on your head or your hips pumping away.

Or put you in a position in which we cannot avoid that intense eye contact. I think you are worried about getting addicted. I think you are worried about getting lost in each other.

I think you are worried about 55 other things too.

Maybe I am as well. Maybe I fear possibilities and maybe I fear not knowing.'

But baby, I have been to the depths of hell. I have been places I never wanted to go and seen what I never wanted to see. I learned things I never wanted or needed to know and maybe parts of me broke.

But maybe I healed too. Maybe I rebuilt parts that had split.

Maybe I am looking for the woman who said she would always be my girl to find out what happens when our bodies press together and our lips find each other.

Maybe I am looking to see what happens if we let ourselves be truly naked again not knowing what will happen but rolling down a path I think I can see.

Because I have got to know what happens when I kiss you again. I have got to have you in my arms and see you because you know I really see you.

And maybe you're waiting for me to grab you, to take you and to do it in a way that gives you plausible deniability.

Or maybe there are 1,883,938 other things going on inside your head.

We don't get forever. You know I'll run headfirst into the flames for you. If you are drowning I'll save you if I can.

It is who I am.

But I can't beat time. I keep trying and I keep losing and I hate it.

But I am as dumb as they come and I keep trying to do what I can't and what I am not supposed to. Eventually that ends, no matter what.

So I am standing here, holding out my hand to see if you'll take it and walk out on the wire with me for a while.

Not knowing what will happen or expecting more than a chance to see what if.

That is 18 years, chai, of whatever this is. Just rolling down the highway and learning what it means as we go.

Got lots more to say, but that is a rough draft of partial thoughts. Kiss me woman.