Not G Rated

Dear June,

Every time I look at that recent picture of you I want reach through the screen and grab you. You may feel old but you look so damn hot in that picture.

Those songs do more than just sort of resonate for me.

Do you know how good it felt to hear and say I love you. Do you know how good it would have felt to kiss you, even though you fought the feeling. You can say what you want, but I know the look I saw.

For just a moment my girl was my girl again.

I understand the reason, the moment and the mood. And I still maintain that I can take you places no one else can because we have something more.

I wonder and "worry" about that kiss, because it could create a mess of sorts, but you would smile at it.

I could be more explicit here. I could be far more detailed, but I think I am going to hold back for just a moment and because I am going to see if you feel what I am thinking.

Yeah it is goofy, but it is really not a game I am playing. We missed each other.

Make of this note what you will, Johnny has broad shoulders.

Are You Pretty?

Well baby, I don't think about it because the answer is yes. I downloaded the pic of you in the black dress and blue jacket because you look freaking hot.

I could write or say more, but I won't.

If you want to know more you can call me and I'll say more. Trust me, you look awesome.

Sunday Morning

Dear Junie Junester,

Sweetheart, don't get used to me saying everything here because it is unlikely to happen, especially if we are in touch via other mediums.

But every now and then I may share a few thoughts.

I am listening to Band on The Run and taking a second look at the picture of you in the black dress and that coat.

Trust me when I say you don't look old or worn. You look freaking hot and your legs look like they should be wrapped around me. You are welcome for the smile. You are still a bad girl and a revisionist. ;)

Anyway, since today is your day I thought you might appreciate that.

See you around.

Saturday Morning

Hi June,

I went looking for that blurb about astrology because I am curious about something. I'll write about it after the 'graph below.

Taurus and Virgo:

Both earth signs share the ability to communicate and understand one another intuitively. Their conversations get better over time and so does the relationship. They will understand each other’s goals and hopes for the future. There is an unspoken bond here that once established, hardly ever gets broken. They will provide each other with what the other person instinctively needs and desires sexually. You can’t go wrong with this astrological combination, period. A strong attraction and loyalty will keep these two together. Relatives can sometimes be a problem for these two.  Virgos understand that listening to their Taurus can provide them the sort of answers that they cannot figure out on their own. The smart Virgo recognizes that Taurus mate knows how to reach them in ways that no other can. Focus on healing yourselves and each other and you will have a mate for life.

I have sometimes wondered if we broke each other. I wondered if we built a fire that was so big and so intense it just melted everything.

This may sound silly to you, but even though things changed it never felt like things really ended. That connection just continued in one way or another which I suppose is why I always write about it as being a fire.

Sometimes the flames are small and sometimes bigger.

When we said "I love you" to each other the other night I listened to your voice as I always have and watched your face.

It was just as real and honest to me as it has ever been.

I want it to be clear that I was listening and I heard you about the desire for a simple life. It is what I want too.

I don't see any reason why we can't be there for each other and do what the astrology says. I don't see why we can't be a rock or a port in a storm.

A couple more comments.

I truly am relaxed now but really want more time to talk and catch up. Five years of stuff and thoughts is floating around so it feels a bit more urgent but that urgency isn't something I have to pay attention to. I live here.

Anyway, I'll let you figure out what you are comfortable with, but I will yell at you about something. Don't be foolish and try to do everything on your own.

Let me help and lean on me a bit. We all need some kind of support and you shouldn't carry your load alone.

I'll be around.

-Johnny

Friday Night

Ok Juneleh, apparently I am going to be up for hours. Trying to decide what to write about or maybe I'll just listen to music.

Stop thinking so hard about me, makes my butt burn. ;)

Big Glass O'Scotch

Junebug,

Whoo, had a bit more Scotch than I had planned on. Can't say I am drunk but I am definitely a bit buzzed. Been a while since I felt like this, kind of fun.

Would be better with someone and not alone

And now I am singing Somewhere Down The Road at the top of my lungs which I am sure is going to lead my neighbors into falling in love with me.

Don't worry about it, I am not interested in men. Woohoo!

Got so many stories to share and so much to say, but I am not sharing it here. Not saying what is swirling around inside the old head of mine.

What a crazy world.

and now on to Even Now, Weekends in New England and Copacabana

Damn, I feel something

Sweet June

Hi Juneleh,

I thought about your question about the worst thing that happened during the past five years to see if I came up with any alternatives, but I think I touched the biggest. I am exhausted now, going to take a short nap.

Will blog more later, not sure if it will be here. Some of it is sort of up to you, I am not pushing. Going to let you figure out how much contact you want or not.

Last night really was great. You looked great too.

Nap time followed by sushi followed by a movie and maybe the gym.

P.S.

Just for the hell of it, MLBF.

Seems semi appropriate

A Wonderful Birthday

Dear Sweet Juneleh,

Here is a link to the song I was talking about. Here are the lyrics:

Don’t you try to tell me someone’s waiting. They’re not waiting for you. Oh and don’t you try to tell me that you’re wanted. That you’re needed. Cause it’s not true. I know why you’re lonely. It’s time you knew it too. No one will ever love you, no one will ever love you. No one will ever love you like I do. 
Why you always looking for the limelight? Ain’t you satisfied with me? For once why don’t you get down off your high heels, You’re no big deal. Can’t you see? I know why you’re lonely. It’s time you knew it too. No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you like I do. I’m all you got. I’m all you’ll ever need. I’m all you’ll ever have

When you spend five years in through hell you have to figure out what you want to do. Some people lie down and give up and others keep going.

I kept going and I kept believing that this crazy ass, irrational, illogical thought was right. It never made sense. It was never smart but I kept going because I just did.

I kept going because I promised my best friend a bunch of things. They haven't all happened yet, but they have have happened.

One of the best things to come out of this was that it made me a better writer. By forcing myself to explore the pain and ache I learned things I would never have figured out.

When I write about certain topics people believe because they know I am not trying to bullshit them.

The woman in Nashville has two daughters on the show. This is them. I like their version of the song.

Heading to other parts and places now.

Hello Woman

Someone still likes my writing. I wonder if one day I shall write for her again or not.

Gonna Keep On Dancing

The Box