Visibility
Irritated
Got a lot of reasons to be irritated about the misdeeds and misbehavior but don't know if I'll ever bother to address them. Don't know if I'll even bother to keep this place going.
One More Thing
June,
You are a knucklehead if you don't think I was happy for you or wouldn't have celebrated with you. One of these days.
You are a knucklehead if you don't think I was happy for you or wouldn't have celebrated with you. One of these days.
Hell Of A Year
Well June it looks like 2016 will be a year that lives on in memory for quite some time. Crazy days, crazy moments and crazy memories.
Funny thing is that it is only half way done.
Funny thing is that it is only half way done.
Life is Nothing But Interesting
“Forever is composed of nows.”
― Emily Dickinson
“The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.” ― Emily Dickinson
“To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime.” ― Emily Dickinson
And then he walked towards a door knowing not whether it led out of or into a room. None noticed his passage but they definitely noticed his absence.
“The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience.” ― Emily Dickinson
“To hope means to be ready at every moment for that which is not yet born, and yet not become desperate if there is no birth in our lifetime.” ― Emily Dickinson
And then he walked towards a door knowing not whether it led out of or into a room. None noticed his passage but they definitely noticed his absence.
The Best Day Of The Week
There was a time when Sundays were the best day of the week, my clear favorite.
Long Time No Update
Haven't updated here for a long time for a variety of reasons none of which need to be spelled out in great detail. Sometimes less is more.
What I will say is sometimes parenting is exceptionally challenging and difficult. Sometimes it feels like you are on point and know precisely what you are doing and sometimes...no.
Been going through an extended moment of WTF in which I feel like I have been trying to tread water after my feet were chained and my hands were cuffed. And because that is just not enough of a challenge someone keeps trying to physically force my head underwater.
While I know that in the long run this is a blip on a long line of life experiences it is hard to use that as anything other than a sad platitude. The kind of thing people say when they have nothing else they can add.
So it is one day at a time knowing some will be hard, some will be easy and some will be a mixture of both. But I keep smiling because I haven't failed a major test yet and this won't be where it starts. Just got to vent occasionally and keep going because that is how you find yourself on the other side of bumps in the road.
What I will say is sometimes parenting is exceptionally challenging and difficult. Sometimes it feels like you are on point and know precisely what you are doing and sometimes...no.
Been going through an extended moment of WTF in which I feel like I have been trying to tread water after my feet were chained and my hands were cuffed. And because that is just not enough of a challenge someone keeps trying to physically force my head underwater.
While I know that in the long run this is a blip on a long line of life experiences it is hard to use that as anything other than a sad platitude. The kind of thing people say when they have nothing else they can add.
So it is one day at a time knowing some will be hard, some will be easy and some will be a mixture of both. But I keep smiling because I haven't failed a major test yet and this won't be where it starts. Just got to vent occasionally and keep going because that is how you find yourself on the other side of bumps in the road.
Been A While
Been a while since I updated here, long enough I forgot about the post below.
Got way too much going on that is kid related. Way too much that has me straddling the line between concerned and worried. It is probably ok, probably fine, probably just stuff they go through. That is what I tell myself, but sometimes I wonder.
Sometimes I wonder if there is something worse going on. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to feel like I had real support and wasn't doing it alone. Sometimes I wonder about a lot of things, but I do what I have to do because it is who I am.
And I promise myself that change is coming and one day it won't be like this.
Got way too much going on that is kid related. Way too much that has me straddling the line between concerned and worried. It is probably ok, probably fine, probably just stuff they go through. That is what I tell myself, but sometimes I wonder.
Sometimes I wonder if there is something worse going on. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to feel like I had real support and wasn't doing it alone. Sometimes I wonder about a lot of things, but I do what I have to do because it is who I am.
And I promise myself that change is coming and one day it won't be like this.
Some Fantasies Remain...Just That
Dear June,
I suppose it wouldn't matter or make sense to ask you to fly out immediately to help me fulfill an old fantasy.
For more than a decade there have been moments where I pondered the kind of fun we could have in my old bedroom. But given that in a day it will no longer be accessible I suppose that it shall have to stay in the land of fantasy and nothing more.
I am going to miss that place would have been nice to show it to you. Definitely not your style, but if you wanted to know more about the places and things that helped make me who I am, that would provide some insight.
Maybe not as much as it could if the walls could talk, but some.
Change is the one constant in life, is it not.
You'll Never Guess What I Am Thinking
Well you might, but if you can't see me I doubt it and even then, you might not. Depends I suppose on how well you really know me.
Read that twice and wonder if there are any hidden messages or codes contained within. :)
Read that twice and wonder if there are any hidden messages or codes contained within. :)
