Sometimes I think about starting over because it feels like I have so little to show for all I have done.
I look around and wonder what it would be like to have that chance but I always say no because there are more good things on my ledger than bad.
But there are moments where I have a hard time remembering that and I have to focus on the list of accomplishments.
I never saw myself as a complete fuck up, always found a way to make things work. But I'm tired now like I have never been and I just ache.
One day this will be history and I'll have years of stability to look back upon. I know what I need and want.
Working on making things happen just wish I wasn't forced to do everything the hard way.
Makes me angry but sometimes anger is my friend.
I need a massage.
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