Dear Juneleh,
Life gets busy and we find ourselves running a million different directions so I don't always get to write you the letter you deserve.
I want you to know there is never a day that I don't think about you and us at length. Never a day where I don't smile because you are part of my life and never a day where I don't think about ways to see you more.
It is because you are a part of me now and have been for longer than I can remember. You are my best friend and I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky to find you, let alone that you decided to spend time with me too.
It is a funny thing we have and I mean that in the best sense. Sometimes it is hard to be so far and it feels very cruel but when I close my eyes I can always feel you and always have this sense that we are going to find our way back to each other.
I love your heart and soul and your body, in that order.
And you are just going to have to deal with my wanting to ravish you every day, all day for the next ten thousand years.
One day we will go to Hawaii together. I might even write you about it. I might even tell you all that I see in my head and as I said earlier, in some of those spots you are actually clothed. ;)
I love you very much and hope that when times are hard you always feel it.
Visibility
My Sweet Love
Dear June,
Nights like tonight are growing harder for me because I feel closer to you than I ever have. That might sound odd so I'll try to explain it as best I can.
After all we have been through it is hard not to want everything with you. Hard not to want to have the quiet intimate moments and the big family ones too. Having spent so much time in person it is just harder not to want that all the time.
Yet at the same time I still have plenty of patience and confidence in us. It is hard not to believe we will have our day. Hard not to believe it because it just feels right and though it is easy to poke and pick at that it just works.
Yeah, I can look at it and ask how and why I say what I say but why. What point is there in doing something like that.
Because when two people love each other as we do it just makes sense and the reality is that we aren't limited by love lust--we like each other. We are friends too and that is the keystone in our arch.
Nights like tonight are growing harder for me because I feel closer to you than I ever have. That might sound odd so I'll try to explain it as best I can.
After all we have been through it is hard not to want everything with you. Hard not to want to have the quiet intimate moments and the big family ones too. Having spent so much time in person it is just harder not to want that all the time.
Yet at the same time I still have plenty of patience and confidence in us. It is hard not to believe we will have our day. Hard not to believe it because it just feels right and though it is easy to poke and pick at that it just works.
Yeah, I can look at it and ask how and why I say what I say but why. What point is there in doing something like that.
Because when two people love each other as we do it just makes sense and the reality is that we aren't limited by love lust--we like each other. We are friends too and that is the keystone in our arch.
Feeling Sad
Hi Baby,
I am feeling a bit sad today. So much has happened and so much is going on. Hard sometimes not to feel a bit crazy and foolish about this and that.
Reminds me a bit of the end of Dances With Wolves. I feel like Wind In His Hair shouting from a mountain top at you, so very close and yet so far but determined to make sure you know I am not going anywhere and though the moment has us physically far apart our hearts are as close as ever.
And you know that I always keep and carry yours close to mine.
It is strange to have this crazy feeling where I am so confident about us and yet so torn by the moment. Maybe it is because it is Friday and I am heading somewhere special and you are not with me.
Or maybe it is because I will forever think of lunch on Fridays, market on Saturday followed by our day on Sunday. Maybe that is it because by this time of day I was always very excited. I had either just seen you or I knew that in just a little bit I would see you.
And I knew that I would kiss your lips, hold your hand and for at least a short moment all would be perfect in our world.
It will be again. We will have our time again, I am just impatient and though I always miss you some moments are simply harder than others.
I am feeling a bit sad today. So much has happened and so much is going on. Hard sometimes not to feel a bit crazy and foolish about this and that.
Reminds me a bit of the end of Dances With Wolves. I feel like Wind In His Hair shouting from a mountain top at you, so very close and yet so far but determined to make sure you know I am not going anywhere and though the moment has us physically far apart our hearts are as close as ever.
And you know that I always keep and carry yours close to mine.
It is strange to have this crazy feeling where I am so confident about us and yet so torn by the moment. Maybe it is because it is Friday and I am heading somewhere special and you are not with me.
Or maybe it is because I will forever think of lunch on Fridays, market on Saturday followed by our day on Sunday. Maybe that is it because by this time of day I was always very excited. I had either just seen you or I knew that in just a little bit I would see you.
And I knew that I would kiss your lips, hold your hand and for at least a short moment all would be perfect in our world.
It will be again. We will have our time again, I am just impatient and though I always miss you some moments are simply harder than others.
Perfection
Dear June,
Sweetheart I am thinking about our short telephone conversation and it is bittersweet. It is hard because I know that if we were together things wouldn't be perfect and that we would have our disagreements but they would be better than now.
Better because when you are with someone who loves and understands you daily challenges are easier to deal with and overcome.
I miss you terribly and knowing that you were right there and now you aren't is hard. I knew there would be a transition and did the best I could to prepare but it is not easy and in some ways much harder than I would have expected..
My gut still says to relax and that our time is coming. I can't help but believe after all we have been through and overcome that we are on our way to the kind of future we have been dreaming about, but I hate waiting and feeling crazed.
I don't mean to complain so much, but this moment is rough.
I love and miss you.
Sweetheart I am thinking about our short telephone conversation and it is bittersweet. It is hard because I know that if we were together things wouldn't be perfect and that we would have our disagreements but they would be better than now.
Better because when you are with someone who loves and understands you daily challenges are easier to deal with and overcome.
I miss you terribly and knowing that you were right there and now you aren't is hard. I knew there would be a transition and did the best I could to prepare but it is not easy and in some ways much harder than I would have expected..
My gut still says to relax and that our time is coming. I can't help but believe after all we have been through and overcome that we are on our way to the kind of future we have been dreaming about, but I hate waiting and feeling crazed.
I don't mean to complain so much, but this moment is rough.
I love and miss you.
I Miss You
Dear June,
I miss you every day and there is not an hour that goes by where I don't think about you. I may not update this as frequently as we would like but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it.
I believe now as I always have that we can feel and sense each other. Some moments are much stronger than others but it is always there. Wish we were holding each other now, can't wait to see you soon.
I miss you every day and there is not an hour that goes by where I don't think about you. I may not update this as frequently as we would like but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it.
I believe now as I always have that we can feel and sense each other. Some moments are much stronger than others but it is always there. Wish we were holding each other now, can't wait to see you soon.
Scandinavia
Junebug,
In addition to going to Scandinavia I want to add a train trip or two. I think that could be all sorts of fun. What do you think?
In addition to going to Scandinavia I want to add a train trip or two. I think that could be all sorts of fun. What do you think?
Bleah
I am officially stuck somewhere between hell and somewhere else. This mostly sucks. Very frustrated and very impatient.
Sometimes being the one left behind who gets to live in their own house is worth so very much.
Sometimes being the one left behind who gets to live in their own house is worth so very much.
It Will Happen Again
Thinking about a first kiss that never ended and a last kiss that foretold a future of many more...
