Smart Decisions

Dear June,

Just got back home and decided to write you another note. Feeling crazed because I don't have the kind of space or time I want and need. Feeling crazed because part of  me wonders if recent experiences did something to me and made me need more or if it is just part of the process.

Feels like every time I go do things someone is following me or around and it makes me extra crazy because I swear they were nowhere near where I went off to.

It is like they waited for me to move and then decided to go with me and I want to scream. Made mention of this and was told I am being ridiculous but I know what I feel and this old age thing has an impact. So I am constantly on edge and feeling like I am waiting for something to happen.

That is just crazy making and I am doing my best not to let it hamper my efforts to make the changes that have to be made now but....

And then I sit here trying to figure out how to make smart decisions, how to make good decisions that will not put me in jeopardy later. Except there is no way to do these things without engaging some sort of risk and this is why I am bald.

I hate this feeling, but I am doing the best I can to just roll with things and to see what happens. Bleah.