Off The Top Of My Head

Dear Juneleh,

During the weird moments I never quite know what to share with you. Weird moments meaning the times where we are in the place in between friends and more than. It is a funky sort of thing because I never believe romance is dead in you. I just see you as having reached overload and shutting down temporarily.

Might be right, might be wrong. I really don't think about that much. I give it the gut test and if it feels like it to me that is how I roll.  And like I have said many times when it comes to you and I it is a day by day thing with me.

I don't worry much about it. If it goes as I hope I'll know and if it doesn't I'll know too. If meant to be really exists well then all falls into place and if it doesn't exist well it could still fall into place too. Thing is if all falls into place we won't really be able to attribute it to meant to be or just random luck either. Truth is I care little about the label and more about outcome.

Since I am sharing these thoughts with you I'll give you a few more. Are we best friends? That sounds so silly and childish. My gut response is we are and that because we are in that funny place we do the dancing in the fire bit, you know that thing where you walk across hot coals and try not to get burned.

Have I told you that you are my favorite person to write for and it is not because you're my biggest fan, sexy or beautiful.

Work calls and I have to attend to it. But before I go I'll play the fool and say I love you again because I do. Don't need to hear you say it back to know the answer either. Got a very full plate now and I am plowing through it.

I try not to complain much because it doesn't change having to do what is required. What I know for certain is that even though there is much I would do differently I am proud of what I have accomplished and very confident about my future. I get things done because I don't wait for things to happen, I make them happen.

It is a good feeling, almost as good as having your legs wrapped around me but better than your shoes digging into my calves. ;)