Who I Am or Who Am I

Well past midnight, not nearly as tired as I should be but I am a night owl and I have a lot on my mind.

If you ask me what I see when I close my eyes I know for certain what that is and where I am. It is different from who I am now and where I am.

Used to wonder if I had the guts to make the changes and then life happened and I learned I could and I can. Not really a question of can now, but when. Could say more, could be explicit but I think given what I know, what I feel and what I think for now I'll just let that one be.

Funny sort of place to be in, this moment. It is a mix of supreme confidence and real uncertainty. A question of do I trust what I see or what I know. Trust is hard to come by these days, but even when things are at their hardest I always know if I keep moving forward I'll get to where I am going.

Stories

Hi baby,

I was thinking about you earlier and I thought about how much we know about each other and how much there is to learn.

When I think about you I always think of you as my best friend and the woman who just gets me.

I imagine there are moments when that might feel strange or wrong but I believe we have a deeper understanding than we might realize.

Parts and pieces just make sense and it's part of why it is so easy to spend time together.

But there are many things to learn and I think it's exciting and that it is growth opportunities we will benefit from.

This time every week is when I think even more about us and wonder when you will look into my eyes again.

Just a matter of time I suppose.

You Might Need My Hands

You might need my hands. You might need my arms. You might need a lot of things from me. I wonder if I will give them to you. Might have to ask me more than once or you might not. Just remember, you kissed me first and you said you loved me first Ms. Revisionist.
Just ask Mr. Hall and Mr. Johnson and they'll tell you about the glade, a keg and a steak.

Well woman, I'll say this much about you, you always smell good. Got to go write a story about someone I know. See you around.

Unsettled

Feeling a bit unsettled and not sure why. Maybe it is because there is so much to be done to move ahead with life and it feels like I am treading water. Or maybe it is because you are a giant pain in my ass. Wait a second, you are a giant pain in my ass always so it can't be you that is making things feel strange. ;)

I decided a while back it is quite important to pay attention to gut feelings about people. It is a big part of why I never stopped holding your hand. I always feel like when things are hard we are the person the other wants to lean on for support and when things are good we are the person that we want to share it with.

When you reach a certain age this sort of thing gains more importance because you have experienced enough life to understand what you want and what you need. You discover how little tolerance you have for grief from most people and appreciate how tolerant you are when it comes from someone who is special to you.

We can ignore these things, pretend they don't exist or try to find ways to make magnetic pulls weaker but science and experience prove that doesn't always work. So make of that what you will, a paper hat, a silly comment or something profound and meaningful.

I know what I know and it isn't always based upon logic. So I continue to love you because I just do and I am fine with that.

I just Knew

Hello Dearest Juneleh,

Haven't ever asked you if you like this song or have seen the play. If you don't like it well then maybe you'll run with the sentiment.

So my lady love I was thinking about something and thought I'd share it with you. Took a look at our picture the other day and smiled because what I saw was two people who have such love and joy.

I saw two people who always want to share the good times together and lean on each other when things are hard. I saw two people with such potential. And then I couldn't help but remember kissing your lips and holding you in my arms.

And I thought about making love to you over and over. And I thought about fucking you and I thought about how I'd slide into you and hold still for a moment and just get lost in that feeling of being one person. And I thought about how long it will be before we have that moment again and smiled because it is going to be sooner than later.

And then I thought about lying in bed with you naked and having endless amounts of time to be who we are and who we can be. I thought about how beautiful and sexy you are, the look on your face when you cum and how you smile when I do.

And then I just knew.

It Might Sound Crazy

It might sound crazy, but it is midnight and I feel like you need to hear me say I love you. So, here it is, I love you.

Should I add I think you are beautiful and sexy too.

Just Because

Dear June,

There is no schedule nor rhyme nor reason for why I write you as I do. I go with what feels right and that is definitely not based upon anything that I can really put down as logic  I could tell you I love you every day and write you a million love letters if I wanted to.

It is easy and it just rolls right out of me. You might wonder if it has always been like that and I can tell you it really hasn't. You are different and yeah I know that sounds like one hell of a line but it is not. You are different in a million different ways.

I love writing for you. It is fun to write the notes and letters, stories and what have you. I don't push hard to get your feedback because I know you wrestle with things. I don't want to add any more stress but I won't lie or hide things either. I am who I am and that is just how it is.

But it doesn't mean I won't try to help protect your heart or ignore things when they are harder. As I have always said I have my ideas but we won't know if they are fact, fiction or a clever myth until later on. That is part of the fun and part of the agony.

Doesn't matter much right now and I am cool with that. As much I like to plan for the future part of the fun sometimes is not knowing quite how things will work out. Believe it or not that is how a lot of my stories go. I have a very limited idea of what direction things will head until the characters take me there.

Got to run to bed now, but I am sure I will see you soon.

I Don't Know When

Dear Juneleh,

I don't push, won't sit there telling you I love you or ask you to say it back because I know what I see, think and feel.

But I will tell you that one day you will be in my arms again.

Something You Might Not Know

Dearest June,

There are moments where you make me crazy but not in the ways you want to but those are usually few and far between.

Have I ever told you I still have two pairs of shorts from when we first met? That might sound silly to you but I never got rid of them because they have meaning for me.

They were in storage. Still wear one pair around the house, very comfortable.

Lots and lots going on around here, my head always feels a bit like it's swimming but I know what direction I am heading in. I have no doubt I'll get where I am going because it is part of what I do best.

You need a hug and yeah, I am thinking/speaking for you. Can't leave the important decisions to someone so fickle. ;) Hee hee.

MLBF

I Think I Know How Our Story Goes

I think I might know how our story goes, can't say for certain because I can't see the future. But that doesn't mean I don't have an idea about how that will work or expectations as to how it might.

Or maybe it is because of today is the Sunday lovefest for us, maybe that is what has me.

Maybe it is because I miss kissing your sweet lips and or sharing a meal. Maybe I just miss spending time with you.

Or maybe I don't, Maybe I forgot it all.

Who are you and what is your name again. ;)

MLBF you wacky girl.

I Think

I think you need a big hug and some loving. I'd add a great meal and some exceptional company to that list and I know just the person who can make it all happen.

But I think he is going to make you wait a bit longer.

One day you are going to go on a vacation with him too.