What The Hell Happened

Dear Juneleh,

That is what I am saying right now, what the hell happened. I feel like everything changed overnight and even though I know it didn't, it just hurts.

I am sitting here staring up at the ceiling trying to figure out how so much could go to hell in such a short time. It doesn't mean I have given up but I am trying to prepare myself for the kick in the gut that feels like it is about to follow everything else.

I have done everything I could do and that is what frustrates me. It feels like it just wasn't good enough and that hurt. And so I am in this weird place now where I haven't a clue what will happen. I have some ideas and some dreams but I just don't know.

And I am guessing that the idea of me being farther away makes you twist into knots trying to decide if you want to be closer or if you hope it makes things easier. Sometimes life sucks.

Either way I love you and if something has to suck, well...