Adrift

Dear June,

I am not entirely sure why I am sharing this with you, but I am. I feel completely disconnected and set adrift from virtually everyone and everything.

There are many reasons why this is so. Some of it has everything to do with me and some of it has nothing to do with me. I suspect that much of it has to do with transitions and my feeling unsettled. It is a bit like trying to walk on a teeter totter while juggling chainsaws and trying to avoid the spouts of flame from the burning river below.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will get beyond this and that things will fall into place, but it is not always easy to feel like you are carrying the load by yourself. And that is how I feel. I am hooked up to a plow, the wrong end I might add.

So I have made a point to sit down and create my own set of lists so that I can have tangible proof of my accomplishments. I see lots of check marks, but not as many as I would like. I see progress, but not as fast as I wish it would be.

It will happen. I am stubborn and I have a hard head. Hell, if someone tried to put a bullet in it the bullet would bounce off and I would be left with one hell of a bruise.

I guess I am just saying that sometimes I feel a bit worn out and tired. Could use a hug and if you wouldn't mind your mouth might be nice.

Remember the first time, the eye contact between us was intense. You had such a big smile on your face and I am pretty sure that I did too.

Man oh man woman, I would like to do a million different things. But I'll save that for a different time.

MLBF