Fiddler On The Roof

Dear June,

I heard someone talking about Fiddler on the Roof and started thinking about it. Of course it led me to thoughts of you and I.

I could write a long letter about whether we are like Tzeitel and Mottel or be like Tevye and ask, "Do you love me? It is an honest question that I sometimes think about.

I have no doubt that you love me, but the question of are you in love with me is quite different now isn't it. I have mulled over and considered that one at length, mostly in regard to my own feelings. I have asked myself if we really fell out of love or did so much other crap choke it off to the point of exhaustion.

There is a lot to be said about that too and part of me says that I shouldn't share anything too mushy, too gooey or too heavy. But my heart keeps telling me to tell you that I love you.

It doesn't feel odd to say I love you, or at least to write it. Sometimes when I do I swear that I hear you saying it back.

It is a scary sort of feeling because when I write it I put myself out there and risk rejection. That is not something that I am real anxious to experience, at least not with you.

OTOH I already have and there is nothing to say that anything has changed there. Well, actually there is. I see you reading my words and I believe it to be more than just curiosity.

This connection that I feel to you is crazy and I don't get it. It has been so very long and yet it feels like no time has passed.

We talked about that long ago and I told you then that if we had no contact for a decade it wouldn't matter because when we saw each other it would feel like no time had passed.

And I sit here thinking about what it would be like to make love to you again. I think about what it would be like to just let loose and to take you back to our place.

Because I have no doubt about that. Forgive me for sounding crude, but I think it would be just like riding a bike. You know how to touch me and I know how to touch you.

Can't help wanting to take care of you. It feels like you need me and if you do I wish that you wouldn't try to be the tough girl. Let me know and let me carry you again.

I don't believe our story is over.I still love you.