Friday Musings

Listening to Loving Her Was Easier Than Anything I'll Ever Do Again - Kris Kristofferson
and thinking about my girl. Lost in moments where time feels like it is standing still and thoughts about us and our family because we have one together.

Don't know how to explain it in any terms other than that is how it feels now.

“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them -- words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.”
― Stephen King, Different Seasons  

Thinking about how this song used to just get me and wondering where the ship I am sailing is taking me.Really got no idea what is going to happen and it is throwing me, bothering me, roughing me up a bit coming out in my dreams.

I think that is why I dream about fighting monsters while shackled. I think it is part of why I am spending more time lost in my head, trying to suss it out. Trying to grab a hold of something with these paws so that I can wrestle it to the ground and take control.

Sometimes it makes me nervous, but I am not exactly nervous now. More like I am irritated by it. Irritated because I am certain everything will work out but frustrated that I have these fucking hoops to jump through, WTF is that about.

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
― Henry David Thoreau 
“A little talent is a good thing to have if you want to be a writer. But the only real requirement is the ability to remember every scar.”
― Stephen King

If they ever learn the whole story, the true story people will condemn him and probably her. They will call him names and talk about how horrid he was and say she was the worst kind of whore. But those who know more will whisper about how they had the truest and most purest love. And even among those who condemn them some will wish that they had someone who loved them with such passion that they were willing to do what they did and when they close their eyes they will wonder and ache about not having known or experienced such a thing.