Hello woman,
Do you still enjoy my writing. Does it make you feel good to know that you have inspired so much material, that hundreds of thousands of words have been written because and about you. I could see how that might feed an ego and make you feel good.
That last sentence isn't bitter or sarcastic. It is just an observation. Observing life around me and the things I see is just part of who I am. Old Johnny is one crazy man or so some might say, but not me. I may have some quirks but I know damn well where I am trying to go and what I am trying to do.
It is why I launched the new blog. Haven't gotten very far with it, all of three posts or so but it is coming along. I expect it is going to take me places. It is refreshing to write as me and not do so with my face hidden.
Got a dream and plans on how to make it happen. Just you watch.
Visibility
Hi Beautiful
Hi Beautiful,
Just want to let you know that when I look at your pictures I still get that "funny" feeling. And sometimes it makes me think of things that make it "harder" to focus. In fact if we were in high school and the teacher asked me to walk to the board to answer a question I might have to decline.
Sometimes I wonder if we were to be alone in a room whether it would start out in a loving and gentle manner or if we would like two crazed animals.
Probably both, but I can't say which or who would come first.
My YLC, I have something for you and it is not a spanking. Ok, I have one of those for you too, but only because you like them.
One day you are going to find yourself looking up at me again, just you wait.
And I am serious, you are beautiful.
Silly girl, I know how you think.
Life Gets Interesting
Yo Junebug,
How is my YLC in training.
Life got interesting and some things that I expected changed a bit. So I am adjusting things and working on some other projects with a bit more effort than before.
Not a bad thing per se, just sort of surprised. Anyway, got a "new" writing gig up and running under my name. Got a bunch of work to do on it, quite a bit really.
But I am excited about it. This should open up some more doors and create opportunities and I'll take those and run with them. What is new in your world?
How is my YLC in training.
Life got interesting and some things that I expected changed a bit. So I am adjusting things and working on some other projects with a bit more effort than before.
Not a bad thing per se, just sort of surprised. Anyway, got a "new" writing gig up and running under my name. Got a bunch of work to do on it, quite a bit really.
But I am excited about it. This should open up some more doors and create opportunities and I'll take those and run with them. What is new in your world?
Well, Well, Well- No Water
Dear June,
It is the end of the second week of July and I had expected to have some answers by now but they haven't come.
It is a mixed bag this waiting thing. I am much better at it than I want to be, but that is just because I have lots of practice. Makes me a bit crazy sometimes not knowing what is going to happen and where I am going. Kind of funny to say that because I am pretty good at living on the razor's edge, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't wear me out sometimes.
Been very focused on trying to make these changes I have mentioned here because I can't stand the idea of not really living. Hate the thought of just passing the days so I am fixing that.
Interesting to me to try and figure out where this all started and when. Wanted to talk to you about it. Wanted to ask you when you first noticed things weren't what you wanted. Was it just sex that brought us together. Was it just a crazy need to pound and be pounded or was there something more.
Was thinking about how there was never a time where I remember thinking I would want to hurry up and get it over with when we were together. I think that is significant. I think it is significant because we liked each other.
It wasn't just love nor lust. They played a role. I knew that I could whatever I wanted with you because you loved me and were willing to give yourself to me. Knew that I could let you do the same. Thought a lot about what it means to call someone the love of your life and whether that changes.
Got a few ideas, but I'll save them for now.
It is the end of the second week of July and I had expected to have some answers by now but they haven't come.
It is a mixed bag this waiting thing. I am much better at it than I want to be, but that is just because I have lots of practice. Makes me a bit crazy sometimes not knowing what is going to happen and where I am going. Kind of funny to say that because I am pretty good at living on the razor's edge, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't wear me out sometimes.
Been very focused on trying to make these changes I have mentioned here because I can't stand the idea of not really living. Hate the thought of just passing the days so I am fixing that.
Interesting to me to try and figure out where this all started and when. Wanted to talk to you about it. Wanted to ask you when you first noticed things weren't what you wanted. Was it just sex that brought us together. Was it just a crazy need to pound and be pounded or was there something more.
Was thinking about how there was never a time where I remember thinking I would want to hurry up and get it over with when we were together. I think that is significant. I think it is significant because we liked each other.
It wasn't just love nor lust. They played a role. I knew that I could whatever I wanted with you because you loved me and were willing to give yourself to me. Knew that I could let you do the same. Thought a lot about what it means to call someone the love of your life and whether that changes.
Got a few ideas, but I'll save them for now.
Patience
Hi Baby,
Every so often I stumble onto articles about soul mates. I almost always read them. They interest me for a variety of reasons, mostly for the obvious one- us.
Yeah us.
Can't help but wonder a little bit about how all that stuff works. The general picture I gather from all that I have read is that there probably isn't just one person for everyone and that soul mates don't always have a smooth ride together.
There is a purpose in bringing them together, a lesson that is taught/learned.
Some of the things I have read talk about soul contracts and suggest that there is an agreement between the two parties to connect. If I follow that correctly it would mean that you and I 'met' before we were each born and agreed that we would connect in this life.
I don't know that I buy into this stuff, but I won't say that I totally discount it. That is because I think it is possible that there are things that we don't know or understand.
Look at us. It has been almost ten years and we still are connected. It is sort of an odd connection. It is not your movie romance but it is something. You may not be in love with me, but you love me. I haven't any doubt of that. Nor do I have any doubt about what would happen if we were left alone together.
If we stopped to think about things it might feel a bit strained but if we let go it would feel natural. We would pick up and it would feel like no time had passed. You could walk into a room and make love to me and it would be amazing because that is just how it is.
The idea of there being multiple soul mates isn't totally ridiculous to me either. Think back to our discussions and you'll remember I always said there had to be multiple people who could make us happy, but I also said that I didn't see the need to try to find all of them.
Frankly I'd rather have time with you. Would be fun to manhandle you just a little bit. Been a while since you were properly dominated, so submit baby. Stop fighting. You keep reading. You keep showing up. There is something there.
As for patience, well mine is worn thin in many areas, but not all. Still got lots of stories to catch up on. Maybe you'll get lucky and hear some...
Every so often I stumble onto articles about soul mates. I almost always read them. They interest me for a variety of reasons, mostly for the obvious one- us.
Yeah us.
Can't help but wonder a little bit about how all that stuff works. The general picture I gather from all that I have read is that there probably isn't just one person for everyone and that soul mates don't always have a smooth ride together.
There is a purpose in bringing them together, a lesson that is taught/learned.
Some of the things I have read talk about soul contracts and suggest that there is an agreement between the two parties to connect. If I follow that correctly it would mean that you and I 'met' before we were each born and agreed that we would connect in this life.
I don't know that I buy into this stuff, but I won't say that I totally discount it. That is because I think it is possible that there are things that we don't know or understand.
Look at us. It has been almost ten years and we still are connected. It is sort of an odd connection. It is not your movie romance but it is something. You may not be in love with me, but you love me. I haven't any doubt of that. Nor do I have any doubt about what would happen if we were left alone together.
If we stopped to think about things it might feel a bit strained but if we let go it would feel natural. We would pick up and it would feel like no time had passed. You could walk into a room and make love to me and it would be amazing because that is just how it is.
The idea of there being multiple soul mates isn't totally ridiculous to me either. Think back to our discussions and you'll remember I always said there had to be multiple people who could make us happy, but I also said that I didn't see the need to try to find all of them.
Frankly I'd rather have time with you. Would be fun to manhandle you just a little bit. Been a while since you were properly dominated, so submit baby. Stop fighting. You keep reading. You keep showing up. There is something there.
As for patience, well mine is worn thin in many areas, but not all. Still got lots of stories to catch up on. Maybe you'll get lucky and hear some...
Traveling Girl
This just seemed appropriate for the moment:
"You are out there somewhere. You were always out there. When I walked those streets of Jerusalem and made plans to leave America you were living your life elsewhere. And again you were there when the earth shook and I wondered if this was the moment when the ground would open up and swallow my home.Junebug, I do believe that you have been thinking about me. I reckon you might have even wondered what it would be like to be lying underneath and or next to me.
There has never been a time or moment that you weren’t there. Only moments of ignorance and lack of awareness. You weren’t on my radar or a gleam in my eyes. Perhaps you were a dream that I never wanted to believe in. A dream because I didn’t believe that someone like you was out there.
It is funny in an odd sort of way. I can hear you telling me that you’ll never forgive me for not finding you sooner. I can hear you calling my name…”
Sadly I haven't thought about it once, but if you asked me I might be willing to put out for you, but only if you said please. C'mon woman, it wouldn't be the first or the last time.
You like asking and I like saying yes.
Crazy times here. Hate having to wait for answers, but as you know when I want and need to I can be a pretty patient fellow.
Waiting
Dear June,
You know that I go back and forth about whether life is made up of random events or if the universe works in some sort of mysterious way to make certain things happen. At the moment I am agnostic about it.
What I can tell you is that when I look back to the beginning I see a thread that starts back on the board and continues all the way to this very moment. The funny thing about it is that I don't have to do anything to manipulate things at all to come to this place.
It is just obvious to me. It sticks out like a sore thumb and I can't help but shake my head and smile. This thing that I am waiting to hear about is huge and I am bursting at the seams. It is something that I have been working for but I didn't know it until relatively recently.
Blame upon being stubborn, slow or whatever. It doesn't really matter, what matters is that I figured it out and am so damn close to making it happen. That just blows me away. I am fighting hard not to be more excited than I am because I don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't happen.
But I know that I did my best and that I have done all that I can do to make this happen. That is important to me. It makes it easier to sleep knowing that I gave it all that I had and that I have come so far.
The next steps are out of my hands and all I can do is wait. Damn, why aren't you here to help relax me. ;)
You need it, I need it and dammit, we deserve it.
One day, maybe sooner than later.
Ok, I know you are curious about all this...George but I am not saying anything more than I have. Not yet.
What Comes Next
Hello babeleh,
I didn't bring the laptop with me on the plane this time and didn't feel like posting from the phone. It is a bit of a task and I wanted to just decompress.
Flew a boatload of miles for a meeting that went well, I think. I did my best to answer questions and demonstrate what needed to be demonstrated. Got to turn in something else and wait to hear what comes of this.
Got a pretty good feeling about it all, but you never know. If it comes through it could be very big. Long flight home on a very crowded plane. Tired, but excited.
Waved when the plane passed over your place.
Got to run now curious girl, the echoes of the future demand that I answer and I have learned not to ignore those.
Cuz somewhere down the road there might be weekends in New England, but only you Makem...Tommy. ;)
I didn't bring the laptop with me on the plane this time and didn't feel like posting from the phone. It is a bit of a task and I wanted to just decompress.
Flew a boatload of miles for a meeting that went well, I think. I did my best to answer questions and demonstrate what needed to be demonstrated. Got to turn in something else and wait to hear what comes of this.
Got a pretty good feeling about it all, but you never know. If it comes through it could be very big. Long flight home on a very crowded plane. Tired, but excited.
Waved when the plane passed over your place.
Got to run now curious girl, the echoes of the future demand that I answer and I have learned not to ignore those.
Cuz somewhere down the road there might be weekends in New England, but only you Makem...Tommy. ;)
Odds and Ends
It is almost midnight and I am listening to whatever comes through on the shuffle. The Dixie Chicks are singing Not Ready to Make Nice and part of it really resonates with me:
"I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying"
I paid my price and I will keep paying for no other reason than I can't go back. I made the choices I made and for better or for worse I ended up in this place.
It is not necessarily a bad spot. Fact is that it looks like I am about to make a really big change and do something with my life that I never could have imagined, but am excited about it.
But I won't lie and say that I am not nervous because I am. But you know that I have always said that sometimes you take the big risk for the big reward and this is big. This will change my life but I can't say to what extent.
Can't say because it is too early and too hard to predict. But baby, one day I want to tell you about this because you have been a part of it in so many ways. You have seen and know so much.
Getting on a plane in a few days so that I can go to a meeting. Chomping at the bit because so much is riding on this, but I am confident. I feel good. I know this stuff. I know what I am talking about and I have a vision of what I want to see.
My gut is singing this song that is so sweet but at the same time I have such an ache. Had me pounding on the wall the other day, but dammit I came out the other side because that is what I do. And in a short time I hope to say that is what I have done.
Baby, if you could see me now. A little bit older, a little bit more weathered and hopefully wiser. Got to run now because I have more prep work to do and I need to get to bed before 4 am.
MLBF and I don't care whether you admit it or not you think about it.
The Future
Dear June,
Read back a few posts and you'll see I mentioned I might be heading out towards the old family homestead. Things have progressed and it has become a very strong possibility that it will happen.
I don't want to put the cart before the horse but there has been a lot of activity surrounding it so it has become a very strong possibility. I don't want to jinx it so I won't say much more than my blood better get thick quickly. Oh my.
If it comes through it will be the start of one giant adventure. It is surreal and exciting. Kind of funny while I was writing this Rhinestone Cowboy just started playing and the opening lyrics caught my attention:
Anyway, I hope to have some answers soon so that I can start the next part of my journey.
Music just changed and now I am listening to Sir Paul sing Let 'Em In
Read back a few posts and you'll see I mentioned I might be heading out towards the old family homestead. Things have progressed and it has become a very strong possibility that it will happen.
I don't want to put the cart before the horse but there has been a lot of activity surrounding it so it has become a very strong possibility. I don't want to jinx it so I won't say much more than my blood better get thick quickly. Oh my.
If it comes through it will be the start of one giant adventure. It is surreal and exciting. Kind of funny while I was writing this Rhinestone Cowboy just started playing and the opening lyrics caught my attention:
I've been walkin' these streets so longThere is a lot of truth in that. I have been walking these streets for almost forever and singing that same old song. No, not the one I sing to you. Get your mind out of the gutter woman, not like I grabbed your hips. ;)
Singin' the same old song
Anyway, I hope to have some answers soon so that I can start the next part of my journey.
Music just changed and now I am listening to Sir Paul sing Let 'Em In
Someone's knockin' at the doorCall that coincidence or call it a sign, either way is good for me. Change isn't coming, change is happening now. Lots more to tell you about...someday.
somebody's ringin' the bell
Someone's knockin' at the door
somebody's ringin' the bell
Do me a favour open the door and let'em in.
One Kiss
Baby, do you remember our first kiss. Actually I am sure that you do. I am curious to see it through your eyes. Curious to see what it looks like and what it felt like. One kiss changed a million things. Can't believe how much has happened and how different life is.
Changes keep coming and I keep wondering when it is going to slow down...if ever. Surely it has to slow down for a bit. Not particularly worried about it all because I'll figure it out but sometimes it is strange to realize just how different I am now.
And yet I am more who I was than I have ever been. Guess all this has just helped to remind me what is most important to me in a more focused way than ever before.
I see you. Do you see me.
Changes keep coming and I keep wondering when it is going to slow down...if ever. Surely it has to slow down for a bit. Not particularly worried about it all because I'll figure it out but sometimes it is strange to realize just how different I am now.
And yet I am more who I was than I have ever been. Guess all this has just helped to remind me what is most important to me in a more focused way than ever before.
I see you. Do you see me.
