Something about this position grinds on my nerves in a way that concerns me because I haven't even started yet. Can't say exactly what it is, don't know if anticipation is making it worse in my head than the reality.
What I am certain of is that my body is in knots over this and my stress level is way too high. I try to remind myself I am not married to this position and that it will be a placeholder, a bridge between now and then.
But it makes me sad to do something that feels like a regression and not a progression. I have worked so very hard to not be in this position and yet here I am.
I shouldn't whine because it could be worse. Shouldn't complain because this is the first step back towards where I want to be. But I am and I will because I am entitled to complain sometimes about the crap that life throws at us.
Can't go back in time and do it all differently but if I could, I would.
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