The Big Week

Dear June,

Tomorrow is the 'big day' when I return to the salt mines. Have mixed emotions about this, part of me says to just breathe and relax because it is the first step in getting settled again and part of me says don't settle in here.

It is obviously not a life long committment but there is a piece of me that worries about doing it because it is a step in the wrong direction. If I have learned anything about what I want and what I am trying to do with my life it is to push really hard in the direction I am interested in and to avoid the time sucks that keep me from getting elsewhere.

Thought about what day it was and how I should have spent it with you. Would have been a lot more interesting kissing you than thinking about tomorrow. Of course I didn't spend all day thinking about tomorrow and the truth is, I didn't spend all day thinking about kissing you either.

Ok, I did spend some time thinking about different things I want to do with and too you, so there is that. I mean really, I should be buried deep inside of you and feel you grinding your hips against mine. Or at the very least I should be holding onto your hips and having my way. Or maybe holding onto your head.

Sigh.

Anyway, tomorrow morning I'll head off to training. Might come back Wednesday, might be Thursday. Depends on whether I choose to spend one more night in a hotel this week, got Monday and Tuesday for certain.

For now I'll keep  pushing to get to where it is I want to be. Wish I could win the lottery, would be nice to work because I feel like it and not because I have to. Should I say I love you again or let you wonder if I do. Maybe I'll let you wonder. ;)

Hah, like you'd believe I didn't. Time to get back to getting ready.