Sweet Love Of Mine

Dear June,

I just walked back in to my place and decided that even though I am a giant ball of sweat I wanted to write you a giant love letter.

As I sit here looking out into space, thinking about things I have read and moments I have experienced I am overcome with a feeling like I must pass out. Maybe it is the heat, maybe it is alcohol or maybe it is you, the heat and the alcohol.

What I am certain of is that every time we are together I feel happy and a desire to always touch you. It is a mix of sexual lust and just plain need.

You are my best friend and have been for so long I can't remember when you weren't but then again, I can.

Part of what I find so interesting is how our bond is so powerful without our being present and yet magnified a thousand percent when we are together. Sometimes I hear concern in your voice about whether I am using you for sex and I wonder if you really fear that or if there is something more.

You talk about how things always change and I can't say they don't but I can say they don't have to be bad or negative changes either. Sometimes they are just different. Sometimes I go to bed and roll over to stare at the space you should be in and wonder what if.

What if it were like that all the time. What if you were always there. What if you were never there again. What if we had a couple more times to be together and that was it.

But when I close my eyes and look for answers my heart always tells my head to shush and to be. We have lived and loved for a lifetime already and we aren't done yet.

We can go deeper, be closer and fall further in love and we can do so because the word is fall, not step. We have limited free will here.

That's because we have already resumed loving each other with all of the fire and passion of the past but minus the frustration. It doesn't mean there aren't those moments where we wonder what the hell is wrong with you/I/each other because those never go away.

But we bounce back because it is just what we do.

I can't wait to see you again and to make love to you. Our love life is pretty damn good but my gut says it is only going to get better. We may not physically be what we once were but hell I think we are probably better because we know so much more and appreciate things in a way we never did.

I look forward to many more moments in time with you and promise to always do my best to be good to you and to make you feel loved.

I am here baby and I love you.