These Dreams

Hi Baby,

I am working on getting everything up to speed on the new unit and listening to music. Jim Croce is singing These Dreams and I am listening to the lyrics and smiling.

I don't know if the video work or not because I am pulling it straight from YouTube, but hope it does. There was a time when that song would come on and it would tug on my heart but it doesn't really do that anymore.

The reasons why should be obvious, but if not I can spell them out. I know there was a time quite recently when there was nothing between us but that already feels so very long ago.

Every time you ask me what I see in you I want to shake you because you know. When I talk about loving each other in spite of our imperfections it is because we are...imperfect.

And I love that.

It is not a religious thing to me, it is just reality. We have our shit and we deal with it. We just do because we do.

And it is something I haven't ever experienced before. I can't think of a time where I just shrugged my shoulders and said whatever. It doesn't mean we won't fight or get pissed off, frustrated or hurt because it will happen.

It has happened before and it will happen again but we just march through it because that is who we are together.

And as I have told you a million times, I wish things were different. I wish that some of it wasn't so damn hard but it is what it is and I won't walk away because there are some hiccups.

I love feeling your melt against me. I love the look in your eyes when I tell you I love you and the smile on your face when you hold my hand. I love the smile in your voice when you talk to me and how when you are upset you come looking for me.

And again I'll tell you that I think there is something more tied into everything. I can't explain it, won't try because I just can't and I don't see a reason to.

I don't see a reason to because I can't figure out how it would help. It is just one giant puzzle to me, a big maze and I figure if I have to wander through a maze why not do it with you.

And when I think about it, when I see us in my head I see us both as having reached a point where we were just unhappy and I see that cloud lifting because we are together.

Since I take it day by day I won't predict what will happen beyond the very near future but I am willing to say I think we help each other remember just how much joy there can be in life and that is a gift we should never ignore or take for granted.

I love you baby.